Out There

I mentioned in my last post that this is SCARY. Well, it is. I will get back to that, the long-winded way.

I have always been artistic and loved to draw and paint as a child; so much so that I achieved a separate Bachelor's degree in art at Lafayette College. And then...I stopped. I was not a risk taker, so striving for a career in art was not realistic for my temperament at the time. So I stopped, first because other things got in the way: a job, a doctoral degree in psychology at WashU in St. Louis, dogs, kids, etc. The longer I spent away from painting, the more frozen out I felt from it. I was afraid for a long time that the success I had earlier in my life was just a dream.  

I expressed my artistic tendencies in other ways. I loved creating signs for the swim and dive clubs, I gardened with lots of color, and I painted murals on the kids' walls. I have a few abstract acrylics from my college days, when I was too risk-averse to actually try painting anything real--or maybe because I hadn't lived enough life to form those creations.

In any case, I divorced, took an early retirement, and moved to Raleigh. Raleigh is everything I hoped it would be and more. And as I got used to the sights and sounds that I knew were home, I began to notice the brilliant colors of everything around me. The trees were more complex, the flowers brighter, the water and the forests more blue and green, and the skies! The sunrises and sunsets here are consistently unlike any I have seen. Even during the middle of the day, the cloud formations are full and precious. 

So I started to reflect these scenes on a digital app called Sketchbook. It is basically a piece of paper and drawing and painting supplies on the computer. The user faces a blank screen and creates whatever they want--a pencil drawing, an oil or acrylic or pastel or market painting, etc. So, yes, digital, but not in the way you are thinking. AI did not create any of the pieces I made on this app.

And then I found Barbara (see last blog), and Facebook marketplace supplied me with paints, brushes, and canvases. And I tried it, and my first piece was one that reminded me of a watercolor I completed in high school. It hung on the wall of that school until they remodeled and then it disappeared. And this new painting, which contain multiple vignettes of the season in rainbow hues, worked. I was pleased with it and continued.

And on and on...once the genie was out of the bottle, I created and painted, as if all of the creativity I had been ignoring came exploding out of me. So I have inventory, why not try to share it with the world?

Because (see first paragraph) it is SCARY. But I am no longer in the game of avoiding scary things. I am in the game of trying new things and knowing that I am living more fully than I ever had. So it IS scary, but it is also exhilarating and freeing, and a wonderful experiment. In the words of Bruno Mars and Lady Gaga, no one is promised a tomorrow. So I am making today count.